Wizards Eds
by squeaken1
Summary: Ed Edd n Eddy get a letter saying they are wizards. The Eds and the kids of the Cul-De-Sac end up being sent to Hogwarts. What will the future hold when Eddy is being a jerk, Edd has a hard time with magic, and Ed is still his stupid self.
1. The Witches and Wizards of Peach Creek

**The Witches and Wizards of Peach Creek**

Ed Edd n Eddy woke up to start some scamming like any other day. They suspected nothing unusual to happen. Eddy wanted to scam the kids as much as he could, before summer ended. However, things are going to change around here.

"ED! WHERE ARE YA!" yelled Eddy. "I can't find Lumpy any where Double D."

"Well, have you tried his house?" Double D asked.

"I...I'm ganna go check..." replied Eddy.

ED'S HOUSE

Ed was watching TV, as usual. He heard his sister Sarah yell, "ED! COME OVER HERE! YOU GOT MAIL!" Ed got up, not bothering to turn off the TV, and pranced over to Sarah. Sarah was holding two letters. Both letters were from the same person. Sarah shoved the letter at Eds face. Ed ripped it open, and it read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

Dear Mr. Edward Dazzle,We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,Minerva McGonagall,

Deputy Headmistress

Ed mindlessly stared at it." I AM A WIZZARD!!" he joyously exclaimed. Sarah looked at her letter. It was the same except addressed in her name. She didn't believe it. It couldn't be true. Could it?

DIG DONG

The doorbell rang. Ed ran to the door and crashed into it, knocking the door over. Edd and Eddy stood there staring at their friend. "DOUBLE D, EDDY! DID YOU GUYS GET A LETTER TOO!?" Ed exclaimed.

"What letters?" Edd and Eddy said together.Ed grabbed his letter and showed it to his friends. Edd stared at it for a moment, then walked towards his house.

"Where ya' goin', Double D," yelled Eddy. Edd ignored him. He just kept walking. He opened his mailbox, and found the same letter, except addressed to him.

"Eddy...I think this is no lie. We may be wizards. Some strange things have been happening to us. Some unexplainable things. Then again, it is impossible," Double D, in shock, said.Eddy didn't believe it either. He checked his mail, and sure enough that letter was there. The Eds asked everyone else in the Cul-de-sac if they got one too. As they guessed, they did. Maybe this McGonagall person is not lying. Maybe they were wizards.

--

I know, this is short, and not that great. I had this idea a long time ago. I do not own Ed Edd n Eddy or Harry Potter. Any info on those topics do not belong to me. They belong to Danny Antonucci and J K Rowling.


	2. Hogwarts

** Hogwarts**

Ed, Edd, and Eddy met at Edd's house the next day. They were still unsure if this was all reality, but it explains how Eddy can talk to snakes. To Ed and Edd, it sounds like he is speaking some made up language.

"Gentlemen, I have proof that this is all real," said Edd. Eddy just stood there shocked that Edd is actually believing this load of bologna.

"WIZZARDS ARE WE, FOR WE ARE THREE!!" Ed shouted without thinking.

"Ignore him," Eddy said. Edd waited a moment to see that there will be no interruptions.

"Anyway, as I was saying, mother and father told me it had to be true. They both have met Albus Dumbledore, and he is in fact a real wizard," Edd finished. It got quiet for only a moment. Eddy then interrupted by saying loudly, "Who the heck is that guy?"

"Our headmaster, Eddy."

"So, you are saying that this is real."

"Every word of it, Eddy. Mother and father would never lie to me."

"HOOT HOOT!! I AM AN OWL!!" claimed Ed. Edd and Eddy looked to see what Ed was talking about. An owl was sitting by Edd's window, staring at them as if it wanted something. Edd quickly grabbed a letter and gave it to to the owl. "Bring this to..." Edd began, but was interrupted by Ed.

"HAROLDS!!" Ed announced.

"HOGWARTS!" Edd and Eddy corrected. The owl took the letter and flew off.

"So, how are we going to get there anyway?" asked Eddy.

"I have already told you, and the others. Mother is going to ask a friend of her's to take us," replied Edd a bit annoyed. A few days later, they were in London. All the kids of the Cul-de-sac fallowed a huge half giant named Hagrid. Hagrid led them to Diagon Alley. Everyone Explored this new and unfamiliar world. After shopping was done, they headed straight for the train station. They looked for platform 9 3/4, and Ed yelled, "AN INVISIBLE WALL VORTEX THAT LEADS US INTO ANOTHER DEMENTION, COOL!" People just stared at hi, then walked away.

They boarded the train, an took their seats. The Eds, of course sat next to each other. Kevin, Rolf and Nazz sat next to each other. The Kanlers Sat where they could see the Eds. Jonny, Plank, Jimmy, and Sarah sat together.

"I wonder what will happen next," Edd questioned himself aloud. Then, a boy wearing the school uniforms, except his tie was red and gold, joined them.

"You must be new. I am Percy Weasley, a Gryffindor prefect. What are your names?" the boy said.

"I am Eddward. Also known as Edd or Double D."

"I am Ed, protector of bacon and sticky tape!"

"And I'm the one and only Eddy."

Percy stared at them. "You all have the same name?"

"You bet your sweet bippie we do!" Ed happily announced.

"You better get your school robes on, we are about to arrive. I only came hear to make sure everyone new was in their school robes," Percy said, then left.

HOGWARTS

Ed, Edd, and Eddy stood in their robes with the other first years, in the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall was calling up name. Eddy really wanted to know what Edd's last name was. He never told them an this McGonagall person was calling people up by first and last name.

"Jimmy Cloud"

Eddy looked at Jimmy. Jimmy nervously went up front, and the hat was placed on his head.

"Hufflepuff!"

Jimmy gleefully went over to the other Hufflepuffs, hoping Sarah would be with him.

The next familiar name that was called was:

"Edward Dazzle"

Ed ran through the crowd, and cashed into Professor McGonagall. She got up, the,a bit annoyed, put the hat on Eds head.

"Hufflepuff"

This made Jimmy nervous. Ed in the same house as he is, not good. Ed sat right next to Jimmy with the same smile he always makes.

"Sarah Dazzle"

Sarah kept her fingers crossed as the sorting hat was being placed on her head.

"Gryffindor"

Sarah could not believe this. She was separated from Jimmy. She angrily stomped towards the Gryffindor table and sat down.

"Edward Grant"

Just as the sorting hat barely touched Eddy's head, the hat said:

"Slytherin"

Eddy, hoping to be with his pals, went to the other Slytherins.

"Lee Kanker"

Just like Eddy, the sorting hat announced her house when it just barely touched her head.

"Slytherin"

"Marie Kanker"

"Slytherin"

"May Kanker"

"Ravenclaw"

Edd and the others, just stared at the hat in disbelief. May left, and the sorting continued.

"Nazz Kenya"

"I never knew Nazz had a funky last name," Eddy whispered to himself.

"Ravenclaw"

"Eddward Simmons"

Eddy looked at Edd. Edd went over to Professor McGonagall. She placed the sorting hat on his head.

"Ravenclaw"

Edd froze. He and Nazz were in the same house. This was going to be harder than he thought. He started to sweat, but went over to the other Ravenclaws.

"Jonny 2x4 Spring?"

"Oh boy, that's us buddy!" Jonny said.

"Hufflepuff"

"Kevin Thail"

"Gryfindor"

"Awe man..."

"Rolf Yeshmi...Yeshmiek?"

"Yes, Rolf Yeshmiyek. Do not insult Rolf, just put the hat on Rolf's head."

"Gryfindor"

Rolf Joined Kevin and Sarah, and began to chat. They spent the rest of the evening eating, then went off to their dormitories to go to sleep.

--

Yes, again I own nothing. I know that May is not smart. I thought this would make this story interesting. R&R please!


	3. Potions Class

Edd woke up to see no one in the corridor. He just then realized that he over slept. He jumped out of bed, got dressed, and then raced to the Great Hall. Ed and Eddy sat next to each other at the Slytherin table, which made others stare. Edd decided to join them, but was stopped by blonde Slytherin.

"And where do you think you're going?" the Slytherin boy asked.

"I am going to sit with my friends, if you don't mind," Edd said in response.

"Well, I do mind, and I say you can't sit at the Slytherin table."

"What about Ed, he is a Hufflepuff, and he is sitting there."

"We were just getting around to it."

"What is your name?"

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."

Ed and Eddy could not stop, but to overhear the conversation. Ed then Exclaimed, "DRUNKO IS A STUPID NAME! HA HA HA!"

"It's Draco, not Drunko! Get it right you filthy mud blood!" Malfoy angrily corrected.

"But I am not Dracula, am I? I am!" Ed then stood on the table, causing the teachers to come over. "I AM A BLOOD SUCKING VAMPIRE! PREPARE FOR ME TO EAT YOUR BRAINS!"  
The teachers came over, and made Ed get off the table. He got a detention, and sat back down at the Hufflepuff table. Edd and Eddy joined Ed and looked at their schedules. "Our first class is Potions. That sounds interesting." Edd said.  
"Potions! We are going to make evil mutating..."Ed began but was interrupted by Eddy.  


"ED SHUT-UP!"

POTIONS CLASS

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses. I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even put a stopper to death..."Snape said until he was interrupted by Ed.

"Are you going to teach us how to mutate clams and cows, making them super intelligent? Then have them brain washed to experiment on their bones?" Ed stupidly asked  
"No, I am not going to teach any of the sort. Ask any stupid questions again, and straight to the headmaster's office. Along with a detention." Snape said in response. Everyone was quiet for the rest of class. Edd tried to get all of this information in his mind. It was more than he could handle. He just needed to get the hang of things around here, right?

THE CLASS THAT INVOLVES BROOMS

Ed looked up at the caption above. "This class involves brooms?" Ed asked holding on to his broom. "Idiot!" Eddy said to himself. After everyone tried to fly a broom, it turned out Kevin and Eddy were really good. In fact, it was as easy as pie for them. Edd had the most difficulty. He couldn't even get an inch off the ground. While everyone else was flying across the sky. Maybe he wasn't a wizard after all.


	4. Defense Against the Dark Arts

Ed, Edd, and Eddy were in their next class. Professor Flitwick was showing them how to use the levitation spell. Not one person got it right. By the time class ended, Edd looked like a joke compared to everyone else. Everyone but Edd got it right. What was going on? Is his theory true?  
GREAT HALL

"Come on, Sockhead. You have to be a wizard. Why else would Dumble... whatever his name is let you into this school." Eddy said trying to help his friend feel better.

"You're right, Eddy. Dumbledore is a really good wizard," Edd replied.

"HOOT HOOT," Ed said. Edd and Eddy knew what that meant, owls. The mail was here, and Ed's owl flew straight at him. He took the letter from his owl, patted it on the head, and looked at the letter. Edd and Eddy got letters too. All their letters were from their parents.  
Edd finished reading his letter, and went outside. Ed and Eddy were too busy to notice. He sat there, enjoying the breeze. It confused him why he had no signs of being a wizard. He wondered what Defense Against the Dark Arts class was going to be like. He hoped nothing violent.

"HEY, SOCKHEAD!! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR NEXT PERIOD!!" Eddy shouted at Edd as loud as he could. Edd got up and rushed over to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom with his friends.

"I am Professor Umbridge, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. We are not going to use wands in this class, so put your wands away." Umbridge said watching all the students, carefully. Edd was delighted about it. He couldn't use spells, but he was very smart and could do bookwork.

"NO FAIR!" Ed exclaimed. "I WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO LICK THE BOWL!!" Umbridge raised her eyebrow in confusement. Ed was making no 

sense, as usual. She didn't know Ed, so she did not know he was like this all the time.

"Why don't we get to use wands?" Kevin protested. "How are we suppose to learn magic without wands?"

"Don't worry, you will be learning. I will teach you without anyone harming each other with spells." Umbridge reassured Kevin. Kevin, however, was not convinced. "Open your books to chapter 1." Umbridge commanded. Edd was so intent in his work that time flew by fast. He felt right at home, and was pleased with Umbridge. He kept a smile on his face, while everyone else was bored out of their minds.  
By the time class was over, Edd was the only one who got all of the information, and did all the work expected. Eddy was furious. NO magic in a WIZARDING SCHOOL? It was a mad house in Eddy's mind. He didn't understand, and was mad about all the homework Umbridge gave them.

"I hope things change around here soon, or I'm leaving," Eddy said before leaving.

"I couldn't agree more," Umbridge said with a toad-like smile on her face. "How would you like to help me change things around here? We may make things even better than you could imagine." Eddy thought about it for a moment. How bad could it be? She is making a fair proposal. He knew one thing, things DID need to change. The only words he said that he agreed with was, "Sure, I'll help 'ya."

Meanwhile, with Ed and Edd, a girl came up to them. She looked as if she was a fifth year. "Good afternoon. My name is Hermione Granger. I was wondering if you would be interested in learning some REAL Defense Against the Dark Arts. Harry Potter is going to be teaching some of us what he knows. Are you interested?" Hermione asked eager for them to say, yes.

"YES, WE ARE!!" Ed exclaimed, squeezing Edd. "Umm...Ed, please let go 

of me...I can't breathe..."Edd said loosing air. Ed dropped Edd as he gasped for air.

"Sure, why not. I would...err...we would love to learn from this Harry Potter...Who is Harry Potter anyways," Edd said. Hermione stared at him for a moment. "You've never heard of Harry Potter," Hermione said.

"Well, it could be because our parents are not Witches or Wizards," replied Edd. Ed grabbed Hermione's hand, and said, "TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!" Hermione stared at Ed as if he were some sort of idiot.

"Ed always makes no sense, Hermione." Edd explained. "Can our friend, Eddy come?"

"If he is in Slytherin house, then I would prefer him not to. I just don't want any trouble," Hermione replied. "Meet us at Hogshead, at noon this Saturday."


End file.
